Sigh...

So, I just picked up a check from a job I've been working more or less full time for the past 3 weeks. I've pretty much hated it and viewed it as a completely waste of time. I've been really surly there. It is the sort of place where the boss tells you to watch your time if you come back 2 minutes late from lunch. Speaking of lunch, you only get 30 minutes.

In the past week, I've resigned myself to all of it because it's only temporary, but now, after seeing the amount of my check, I am not only deeply offended, I can also feel a sort of contempt for the place. My first thought upon seeing the amount of this check was: 'Hey, I just wasted 52.75 hours of my life that I can never get back and I don't even have enough money to put down for the deposit on an apartment at the end of the month.' So, I'm pissed, basically. And I am faced with a dilemma because I will have to move again soon.

The thing is, when I really think about it all, I cannot complain. I chose, just over a year ago to change everything. To sell everything, to move, to leave my comfortable (materially-speaking), relatively well-paid lifestyle. I now have to see it through. Those Diptyque candles and Molton Brown lip balms are nothing but a distant memory right now... Everything is moving quickly and I have to think fast right now. There is no time to sit and think because it is just me. I am making things happen or not...I can blame no one (well, I can blame a couple of people for this situation, truthfully, but I won't because what good would it do in the end?). So, I just have to figure it out.

I wish someone would do it for me though, just once. Just this once...