I am beginning to see myself as a writer, feel like an artist -- although I think writing is more of a craft than an art -- more than ever before. It is good. I am feeling better about everything despite all of the changes in my life. I regret nothing of the last year, not even leaving Paris. But, I feel the need to return there and I will. It is the only place that I've felt, for a long time, that I really belonged. Being there was an amazing struggle, but I feel like she (Paris) was preparing me for her (I think Paris is a chick, a Scorpio chick). I know that places have astrological signs, like Norway and Algeria are linked to the sign of Scorpio and I want to say New Orleans too, I'll have to look that up. I don't think Paris is actually linked to the sign of Scorpio, but I'd like to think she's like me...but I'm getting way off topic here.
For the first time this week, my writing got me into real trouble, so I was thinking that maybe now I have the right to begin calling myself a writer or a journalist. I know it will take so much more. But maybe I can call myself an artist, it's just waiting to come out. So much inside waiting to come out through words, images, etc...I don't say teacher anymore, though, when someone asks me.
What happens when people don't do the things that make them whole and feel like they are really living? I don't mean professionally, although sometimes the two -- your heart's desire and your professional life -- meet and I am imagining that there could be nothing better. But what I'm saying is, what happens when an artist doesn't do his art or a cyclist does ride his bike or a born teacher doesn't teach? When I had money, I bought lots of greeting cards, I had a big box full of them for every occasion and I found one once that said: "Do what you love and the money will follow, do what you hate and be like the rest of us." It was a quote made by a waitress in Florida. She is a font of wisdom, don't you think? I think about that a lot lately, especially after this week. Fortunately I am able to do this. Some people cannot. I am not naive in realizing just how fortunate I am...
I love writing, I need to now. What if I was still standing in front of a classroom in Chicago? What if Paris was still a dream? What if Seattle was not in my life now? What if I was not writing? I ask again:
What happens when people don't do the things that make them whole and feel like they are really living?
4 comments:
To answer your question, they get depressed and turn into the jerks that walk the streets we live.
So what makes you think Paris is a Scorpio?
PS...keep writing, I am enjoying reading it. :)
eunice, you're so right. thank you for your comment too, i am glad you like reading what i write...
i think paris is a scorpio, because, she is very seductive but has so many secrets. when you're there or you read about her, you think, she is an open book, but it's not until you spend time there and really see and still you don't know. but i know paris is not a scorpio, i have to see what sign it's linked to. maybe libra...
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