Forever isn't what it used to be, or is it?

I'm sure someone was eating pot roast on the bus this morning. The smell was unmistakable. What else could smell like that? It smelled like pot roast straight from the oven....But, the question is, who would eat pot roast on the bus? I know I shouldn't even ask that question....

Anyway, here I am. Hopefully nearing the end of these journal-ly type of posts. I am less venomous now, if only because I am completely empty inside. I saw my ex, I need to think of something better to call him...Trick, perhaps? No, ex will do, because I won't be writing much more about him again, ever. When I saw him, I felt nothing, not even contempt, it was like he wasn't even there. His existence didn't matter. His existence didn't register. I'm not sure what's worse, hating someone, or feeling nothing. I can actually answer that. For me, feeling nothing is worse. It means that someone doesn't matter to me anymore and that they will soon slip from my memory, as if they never existed. I am sure that in the days to come this will make me sad. After all, he was my 'home'. He was the one I wanted in my life forever. It's hard to accept that there is nothing in me for him, that he could put me at risk....I guess, foolishly I thought that no matter what happened between us, we could put those differences aside, and still be there for each other when it really counted. I thought that we were friends. I was wrong. That's what hurt the most. But it doesn't anymore, it's over. No more of this....forever.