Lily, Queen of Bunnies

I have a bunny, her name is Lily. If you ever saw her, you'd say she was the most beautiful bunny you'd ever seen, really, she's very pretty. I was not able to bring her because I don't have my own place here yet. Since moving here to Seattle, I miss her terribly. That's crazy, she's a rabbit for god's sake. Even more importantly, she doesn't really like me that much, at least not all of the time. We've had quite a rocky relationship, she and I. When I first got her, we shared my apartment and she destroyed every exposed wire, newspaper, baseboard, remote control button, shoe sole, candle...well, I think you get the idea. Needless to say, we had a very difficult first year together. She chewed through 5 telephone cords in a month and a half and got part way through a USB cable and power cable for my computer. Once, I went about 4 days without receiving a phone call, when I finally checked the phone, I found that it was no longer attached to the wall. Now, every piece of electronic equipment I own has some part of its cord wrapped with electrician's tape to hide exposed wires. The amazing thing about all of this, is that she chewed most of this stuff while it was plugged in. I can't believe she is not a rabbit fricassee at this point.

Anyway, I miss her. Even though she has a really bad attitude and ignores me sometimes. When I say bad attitude, I mean, when she doesn't want to be bothered she grunts at me-rabbits aren't really supposed to make noise. When I say she ignores me, I mean often, when I am talking to her or trying to coax her to me, she will simply look at me and then turn around with her back to me while I am talking to her, literally. I am telling you, she does this on purpose, as if to say: 'You must realize, silly woman, that I am not interested, even vaguely in what you are saying and I have no intention in complying with your wishes.' I'm telling you, she's very smart, she knows. She does things on purpose. She knows her name, although, I call her many things: Lilypad, Baby Girl, Little Girl, Pumpkin, Pumpkin-face. She particularly likes Baby Girl, I think. In fact, she may actually think that's her name, because for the first 6 months that I had her, I couldn't figure out what to call her, so I called her Baby Girl or just plain old Girl. She knows the word no, God knows she's heard it enough. Sometimes, I talk to her in French and she likes the sound of it, she is my lapinette. I don't have any framed pictures of her though. Just before I left the Chi (Chicago) I took the first picture ever of her.

She is also sick. She has abscesses in her mouth that she will probably die from eventually. She needs injections of penicillin every other day and will continue to need them for the rest of her life. So, I am worried, because although she is being well taken care of now, I have left her. I feel that I am the one who should be doing those things for her now. When I returned from Paris 3 months ago, she was very sick. She was close to death and no one seemed to notice, it seems, that I came back just in time. Learning of her illness was difficult and even moreso when I learned that I had to give her shots. It took so long to feel comfortable doing it and it really was emotionally draining at first. I wondered if she could possibly have a good life when she have to go through this for the rest of it.

I left her. I feel terribly guilty, even though I feel that I didn't have a choice. Before moving, I lied down on the floor and explained everything to her. Through tears, I even told her about the problems with my boy. After I finished, she hopped over to me and nudged my ear with her twitchy little nose. I think she understood. Okay, maybe not, but it felt pretty good to have her acknowledge me. These days, she is the thing that has kept me going. I have been feeling quite sad about my boy. Knowing that it is all over now is difficult and she keeps me focused. I have to move, find my own place so I can go back to Illinois and get her. I think she will like it her, I was considering getting her one of those rabbit leashes (seriously, they make them), so I can take her to the park here. She would love it. But I have to think about that one, bunnies on leashes could rank up there with cats on leashes on the scale of weirdness.

In any case, I am beginning to see that I have learned something from all of this. For the first time, I am learning what it means to love someone/something. I am understanding, to a degree, what it means to be selfless. All of this from I little brown lop-eared bunny, who knew? When I arrived in Seattle, with less the $500, all I could think of was that I had to find a job fast, so that I could by Lily's medicine and pay for her monthly vet visits. She has helped me so much, even though I have probably yelled at her too much and not been patient enough at times. You know what, I love that little bunny, and I'm not afraid to say it anymore. Hell, I would even take her for a walk on a leash, I am not too proud....